Im overall a shy person i think. I won’t speak about anything bothering me for a long time or if i speak on it i make it seem as if its about someone else….. i learned to bury my feeling in songs when i was younger i wrote music….I would express my feelings that way. but that happiness was stolen from me.
As i got older i started drinking my sorrows away.
Drinking was my cover up . It help me to not feel, to not think or care when i am hurt about or in pain. I drink uncontrollably to wear i don’t want to eat because then i’ll think or feel. once I stop drinking it will fade away. once I stop drinking that pain will come back and I will cry over and over again.
Think about being some where you don’t want to be . some where that always made you uncomfortable to where you have to drink to get through it. For a year that was my issue. it was something that I became depended on to get me through the day sometimes. I was so stress . 2019 my son father decided to break up and move out. so now I have to do all these things alone. then covid-19 broke out. so now I’m going through a pandemic alone with three kids and super anxiety issues.so yeah double yeah drinking was my outlet.
I like to watch other people lives . celebrities that have talk shows and things. my favorite one is red table. with Jada smith and her mother and daughter willow. they had a few talks with people who have drinking problems and who have been to rehab many times. me watching this show let me know that it is other WOMAN. MOMS out there that have stress. anxiety and drinking issues. I was scared to admit to anyone that I drank when everyone went to sleep. that I had a friend who I went to just to hang and drink. I was ashamed because I am a mother. I don’t want my kids to see me in a harmful way. I want to be stronger for them.
So after watching that tv show. I quit. I am five months now . I am very proud of myself. I think I am able to handle being around others and not have a drink now.
What are some ways you cope with stress?
How do you manage your life as a mother or father with work and kids without drinking every night?
How do you managed to not think about having that first sip again?
Private Thoughts 