Honestly, I found it very hard to let go so many things this year. I choose to cut ties with a lot of people because I felt like I had to for me. For my mental health. For my safety and for my happiness.
“One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you cannot change.” I am working on taking this quote to heart. I truly have an control issue. so to not be able to make things always go your way is hard to accept. people like me truly try to leave things be and just can’t. You also can not change the people personalities around you. but you can choose who you have with what personality around you. with in the last few years I have had a few toxic individuals in my life from friends to family to boyfriends. so many negative people slowly breaking me down.
I choose ME this year. I choose to really let so many things go. when I decided my drinking was becoming to much to where I can’t sit up straight . I wanted to quit. The first set of people who did not approve or wanted me to still party even tho I am avoiding drinking. Those people had to get cut off. Friends who would provide or still ask me knowing I wanted to stop…I had to slowly cut off. why because you don’t respect me or my mind . you want me to be weak and keep going down for your benefit.
Family members. I have so much. but speak to so little. Most may say family is everything, and sure enough we want our families to be our everything. but unfortunately family come with slick mouths and temper and stupid fights just like a friend on the street. I wouldn’t let some one on the streets talk to me and do me so wrong. why do I have to let you. why do you have the right to treat me this way? because we have the same blood? now days blood do not mean as much as it did in the old royal days. now we speak up and don’t allow so much crap the way the older generations has.
At this point I keep up with very few. because at the end my happiness and what I am doing with my circle matters to me.
Alot of people deal with things that hurt them for YEARS! but my question is why? it seems like most people that deal with pain is in a relationship or bad home. why do we stay? no where else to go? kids? parents? to young? abuse? scared? so many reasons keep people stuck. keep us holding in so much pain that we go in bathrooms and cut ourselves . Then walk back out and deal with who ever is around us calling us names . Mentally fucking us up !
I have been in a abusive relationship took me years to let go and run off. I live with a parent who mentally fuck me up to where I didn’t what or who I was. Was I this horrible child that he claim for me to be? Was I those names that he called me truly? I lived with boyfriends who pretend to build me up only to snatch away everything I did and turn it to where it was always better in his hands than mine(money).
Im DONE! I AM DONE I AM DONE I AM DONE!. I AM ME I KNOW WHO I AM NOW. THE ME THAT I FOUND WHILE SLOWLY LETTING PEOPLE GO HAS SHOWED ME WHAT I CAN REALLY TAKE FROM PEOPLE. I DON’T WANT TO PRETEND ANYTHING WITH ANYONE ANYMORE. I AM MY MYSELF. IF ME BEING THIS WAY AND IF LEAVING OTHERS BEHIND KEEP ME IN SUCH A BETTER PLACE IN MY LIFE I CHOOSE TO LET GO. I MEAN REALLY WHAT HARM WILL IT DO ME?
Private Thoughts 