Dealing with abuse ….we hide it… but when we tell you listen..please!

Abuse comes in many forms. verbally , physically and emotionally. There are a lot of ignorant people out in the world who do not understand those meanings of abuse. when you hear abuse you mind goes to physical abuse. we think she said abuse that means he is hitting her. In two seconds you think physical and then where ? now you are searching the body looking for marks or thinking about a time if you ever seen her cover up. If you see nothing now your mind goes to she might be lying… is she saying this so people can feel sorry for her. ?

LISTEN! Do not ever judge a person on these type of things. That person could be dead tomorrow. You don’t know the truth so you should always be alert first. support help talk to this friend or person. don’t assume they ok because they still went to dinner together. and if a friend or person tell you these secrets do not talk bad about them or judge them. Do not assume it’s easy to get out! During one of my relationship my boyfriend abuse me. we would get into big fights over small things and he would get aggressive towards me. I never spoke on it during the time I lived with him until things got bad. I went out everyday with this person feeling like someone knew . I always felt like where he grab me left a huge mark or all the holes in our walls was somehow visible. people would give me a look. like it was known. but for years I cover it up. for years I put up ugly paintings on the walls. I would smile and invite people over and pretend I was so happy. but I feared every time he drank and I fear when I was alone. or when he left did he get in a fight and will come home and I deal with it. By the time I was slowly preparing to leave I started to let people know. I felt bad for saying it outloud. I was scared what would happen to him. his mother begged me not to call the police so many times….but I didn’t know what to do. I let my people close to me know to get advice on how to leave . but I don’t think no one really believed me. I didn’t walk around with a big black eye and always smiled so how can they believe me. he will never admit it. the only proof I had was my son who was to small and his parents who broke down our door a few times to save me from him. but they will forever protect their son.

what I felt scared me but made me stronger as a woman in the sense. I have an eye and soft heart for those woman out in the world who is dealing with any type of abuse. I feel like my whole life I was mentally and physically abuse. I don’t speak up to get anyone in trouble . I speak up so I can heal from the damage so the story is no longer swinging in my brain and so all the woman out there know they are not alone. I was a mother and wife and I hide it. I was a sister and a aunt and I hide it. I learned people around me are dealing with abuse or have already and it hurts my heart.

My dear ladies. Be strong. hold your head up high and keep going. Find that will power in you to leave. most reason we don’t leave is because we may not have anywhere to go. I was 19 my father kicked me out and I moved in with him. I stayed and delt with it . I learned how to get an apartment and I moved. but I was in it for five years. I was so afraid to be around him alone . it took me years to not fear this person. I felt so alone and scared. I felt like I had no hope. but I took a chance and force myself out into the world alone. I wasn’t alone for long and I did not do well. I struggled for about five years after him but I was out of it and I was learning how life is.

we don’t take the time to really understand ourselves. why we stay . why we love them. what do I feel when they do this to me. what can I do for me that makes me happy. what do I want for myself and how do I get it . We have to stop thinking so hard about it and just do it. if you’ll will be safe after. just do it leave and don’t ever look back. even when they say they change or even if you see the change. never go back once you really leave! I left once……. I was sent back… my father no less who knew….. I had no other option until I worked made money and just jump out .

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