What is sad is I’m 31 years old . And my whole life I truly didn’t like myself. I didn’t understand why I looked a certain way. Things on my body truly bother me. I would hide myself somewhat. I didn’t know I had anxiety I never payed attention to why I felt uncomfortable around people or in crowds.i always felt like I didn’t belong where ever I was. I never felt wanted where ever I was.
So at the age 29 late 29 going on 30 during Covid I had lost my boyfriend he moved out and it was just me . Me and my kids . Me with all the decisions and thoughts on what to do and how to go about things.
I learned to be my true self. I learned to accept me for me. I learn to embrace my body accept my looks and put my self out there. While going through that process I finally felt those weird feelings for females means I’m gay. I also like boys so I’m bisexual. I said fuck it and started a dating online site. I got many conversations from women and many compliments . Which open me up more to be ok with what I was feeling.
I learned a lot of things I do in life on a daily basis to help other people or make people happy .i put my self in situations that was uncomfortable for me and had to learn to listen to myself. If it’s not something I want to do I need to say no. I need to not feel pressured to do these things.
I learned to not be around people who hurt me and my energy. Keep those away from me who are not truly on my side. Family friends people in general . If the energy is bad it for a reason and we don’t connect therefor I retreat and keep from you.
Blogging really helped me let go of things that held me down. Getting many painful feelings out here instead of giving the energy to those who do deserve it. I’m not a nasty person. I don’t wish pain on anyone. I truly love all and would help any if needed but when I’m treated bad I’m done.i protect mine.
And because I accept myself… it don’t allow anyone to hurt me because I got love full love for myself. I know I’m pretty kind and Awsome!