Roller coaster feelings..

Some days I truly feel empty… I don’t feel or have the energy to do anything . I feel so lost and heavy. I ask my self many questions like what I am doing in life right now.

Some day I have great energy and Im super bouncy and love everything and everyone I can do any job and I can be anywhere….

I hate not being my self. Not having that energy to clean shop create. Pushing myself to keep going. It’s like my mind just go blank. My feelings just go dead and no smile is upon my face anymore.

I want to be more into life again… I don’t know if I’m more depress because I’m alone most days. I don’t have close friends who visit me or family members who hang around…

So me trying to figure out why am I so sad and depressed all the time… I feel stuck.. I feel unhappy. I’m not happy where I am in life right now. I feel like I’m not in charge of my life once again….

I’m not able to do what I want that keeps me happy or makes me happy . I always find myself stuck…and trying to be someone else for someone else and I don’t like it.

I’ll be in lala land and i get caught up in life when I am in Situations where I enjoy something that is new to me and great at the moment….but then

I see it… I see how I am stuck I see how I am bein changed and I see how I am being controlled…… and I don’t like it… and each day I think how can I get outta it .

It made me go back into a hole it made me rethink myself again …I’m lost again… back down and stuck..

Feelings are all over the place


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